Why Women Love Vibrators and (Some) Men Fear Them

vill_300I have a few guilty pleasures, and not all of them involve sex. No, really.

For instance, I like to watch Monday night sitcoms. With Allison Hannigan co-starring in How I Met Your Mother and Kaley Cuoco as the hot blond Penny in Big Bang Theory, the scenery’s good.

A recent episode of Rules of Engagement, which proceeds my usual Monday night TV viewing but just happened to suck me in this particular night, gave me a good laugh. Here’s the elevator pitch description if you don’t follow the show: it’s about the lives and antics of two couples — one married, one engaged — and their single, stereotypical wanna-be ladies’ man friend played by David Spade.

In this particular episode, one of the women hosted a sex party. You know, one of those where the girls get together and buy over-priced sex toys and lingerie that never really fits anyone once they get it home.

I just got rid of the $80 slinky black “dress” (okay, more like a negligee) hanging in my closet that, after too many glasses of White Zin and near-satanic goading from my friends, seemed like a wonderful investment.

But I digress –

The ladies attended this sex toy party and the men were quite worried. “Does my woman need toys in the bedroom? Is our sex life too boring?”

One particularly amusing scene involved the husband barging into the bedroom upon hearing tell-tale buzzing– to find his wife brushing her teeth with an electric toothbrush.

This whole thing got me thinking. What is it about vibrators that some men find so threatening?

Obviously, some men feel they are falling short (so to speak) in the sex department if their partner desires stimulation from a toy. They wonder what they’re doing wrong or why they aren’t “enough” for their partner – both in the very physical sense of not being large enough and in the sense of not being able to satisfy their partner for any reason, whether it’s size, technique, or something else all together.

Some men even go so far as to compare themselves physically to the toy. This gets into the realm of Really Silly when you look at certain sex toys designed partly for shock value and partly for those adventurous ladies (and men) looking to try something different once in a while. But let’s be realistic: How many women really want a 16-inch dildo up there every single night?

Comically large rubber penises aside, guys, there are plenty of things flesh-and-blood men give us that a sex toy can’t. Our Ambitious Beaver rabbit vibe  can’t take out the garbage or hang that shelf in the foyer, for instance.

But we’re talking sex here. A vibrator in the right hands may be efficient, but no matter how many different functions of pulsation, vibration and rotation it has, it’s still essentially the same thing every time. It’s a machine. Literally. Sure, a vibrator can send a woman to never-before-experienced levels of ecstasy, but it’s almost too easy.

A real man fumbles, makes mistakes, tries again, eventually gets it right. He explores our bodies and responds to our moans and squeals, hopefully in a way we enjoy. Couples who’ve been together a while are hopefully proficient, but you can still experiment to keep things exciting.

Using a vibrator during lovemaking is another way to keep things from getting boring, BUT, if your wife does want to introduce a vibrator into your bedroom routine, it doesn’t necessarily mean sex is boring without it.

There’s also the give-and-take of sex with a real person. Women, by nature, are nurturers. We want to give you pleasure to you as much as you rejoice in pleasuring us – maybe even more so. We simply don’t get the pleasure of giving when it comes to our battery-operated toys.

We can’t kiss a vibrator lovingly, rub its muscular shoulders, enjoy a cuddle after the main attraction. Masturbation with a vibrator relieves tension and yes, it makes us feel great, but it tends to get lonely.

If sex with real men has so many benefits, why do women even want to play with sex toys at all? They’re powerful. They’re efficient. And when you just want to get fucked good, hard, and fast, with multiple speeds of vibration to make sure it’s done right, they do an unparalleled job.

What’s even more fun than playing with a toy is sharing this amazing sexual event with a partner — combining the purely physical, sexual act with the sensual and erotic experience of lovemaking.

Guys, when we add another vibrator to our toy box, it doesn’t mean we want you any less or that there’s a sexual need of ours you aren’t fulfilling. In fact, we’d love for you to give us a hand with our latest machine!

7 Responses to “Why Women Love Vibrators and (Some) Men Fear Them”

  1. Bucking Bill

    Yeah I didn’t go though that like most men or at lest I don’t think so. At first I said ok then later when it got more action then me I got jealous but after a little talk it was all good again.

  2. Infamous

    She shot down her own argument if you ask me:

    “If sex with real men has so many benefits, why do women even want to play with sex toys at all? They’re powerful. They’re efficient. And when you just want to get fucked good, hard, and fast, with multiple speeds of vibration to make sure it’s done right, they do an unparalleled job” Hard, fast and good enough???? MAKE SURE its done right??? Unparalleled???? Jeez…kinda harsh. I have an thick 8 inch penis and reading those words made me feel kinda insecure for a hot second.

    “Guys, when we add another vibrator to our toy box, it doesn’t mean we want you any less or that there’s a sexual need of ours you aren’t fulfilling. In fact, we’d love for you to give us a hand with our latest machine!” Uh…but I thought thats what you just said they’re for…MAKING SURE its done right…Remember? They do an unparalleled job, I hear…

    This would be the equivalent for dudes:

    “Im gonna go buy one of those fake vagina/ass things so I can fuck it in the butt for 30 minutes straight without having hear to complaints or requests to do the dishes afterwords.” If you read that and didnt feel at least a little insecure, then you are very very confident lady.

    Vibrators can be fun…but face it…theyre designed to make you cum harder than a penis ever could. Point blank period.

  3. Desiree Sweet

    Bill,
    Glad you worked it out with your partner.

    Infamous, I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m not disagreeing that a vibrator is designed to do things a man can’t–just that we love our men, too. After all, they can’t fix our cars or hang that shelf–just kidding! 🙂 But seriously, most men have no reason to be intimidated by a vibrator. I didn’t shoot down any argument.
    Desiree

  4. Infamous

    So you agree with me in saying that they’re designed to make you cum harder than a man ever could, correct? If so…then it should be super understandable why a vibrator makes dudes insecure. My gf and I have great sex. She usually cums more than I do. But still…the fact that she can whip out a machine that can do what I can PLUS more…thats unnerving. Even Bill admitted his wife gave it more attention than him for a while.

    Luckily for me, however, my gf is into clit stimulating toys more than vibrators. But wait…they have those rabbits that are basically vibrators + clit stimulators!! Aw hell!! Beaten again!!

    To sum it up for me I’d say this – I like to be her champion. I like to hear her moan, scream, make those faces and all that other good stuff…but there are devices that can make her moan harder and scream louder than I can with my penis (even if it is a pretty big one) and that bothers me. I like to be the best.

    And I’d also like to say that even though I feel this way, I’d never try to stop her from playing with them. But like I said…luckily for me…shes not into them.

  5. Woman who love vibrator - Black woman - Who woman

    […] Why Women Love Vibrators and (Some) Men Fear Them | The VIB Club Jun 9, 2009. Sure, a vibrator can send a woman to never-before-experienced. In fact, we'd love for you to give us a hand with our latest machine! Why Women Love Vibrators and (Some) Men Fear Them | The VIB Club […]

  6. Phillip Marshall

    Wow! I’m shocked in the caveman comments I’m reading here! Guys I’ve got nothing but love for the dancing flashlight! I use it often as a foreplay device. I love to get into it after she’s already cum! Guys!!! They’ve already got theirs!!! Get yours now. Geez.

    Phil

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