When the unthinkable happens….

girl embarrassed 01 When the unthinkable happens....….and you fart during sex…what do you do?  Well, if I’ve farted during sex I tend to ignore it.  Especially if we’re not in doggy style.  Granted if my boyfriend is giving me oral sex then I will warn him and have him move.  Farting on his face is just… well, yea.  Rude.  Icky.  Heck, there’s been a time or two where I’ve had to shout “stop stop stop!!” and get up and hurridly run to the bathroom so I could pee.

I’ve burped during sex, moaned out the wrong words (“don’t move” as opposed to “don’t stop”), been so over-sensitive that every movement tickled, been unable to stop laughing, farted, slipped and fallen, … well, you get the picture.  My boyfriend has had similar things happen, he’ll have to pee, or slip out, get a muscle spasm, or not be able to hold his erection no matter how much he wants to.

The thing to remember is that stuff like this is going to happen.  No matter who you are, how careful you are, how prepared for sex you are, or anything like that, it’s going to happen.  You *will* fart during sex, the penis (or toy) *will* pop out at some point (just check porn! It happens all the time!), maybe you will fall out of bed or some other random, embarrassing thing.  It *will* happen, you will laugh, get embarrassed, nervous, maybe not even be able to finish.

Really, you just have to accept it and go with the flow.  Your partner will understand, really, they will.  And if they don’t that’s their own problem, not yours.  Things like this are things you can laugh about later.  They can create unique, special memories just for you and your lover.  So instead of worrying what they think about it, getting embarrassed and withdrawing or other things like that… just go with it!  Make the joke out of it that it is, just don’t laugh *at* anyone, laugh *with* them.

3 Responses to “When the unthinkable happens….”

  1. True Pleasures

    I think, of all the embarrassing things to happen during sex, I hate queefing the most. I’ve never farted but, if I get too much air in me during penetration, my vagina will fart. It sounds so wet and gross, and it feels so weird when it happens!

    And the worst thing about it is the pain before it happens. All that air, plus a penis pushing in more air, creates an obnoxious pressure. If I start to notice it in the slightest, I can control it until he ejaculates and leaves the room, leaving me to sputter out cum like a spurty ketchup bottle.

    Yeah, he’ll blow it off. He farts on me all the time, not just during sex. Still, I hate doing it. It’s so… eh… It’s still embarrassing no matter what.

  2. brandie

    I have to agree about queefing. It’s one of the most… unusual, uncomfortable feelings. However I typically have a decent sense of relief afterwards, which does make it not quite as bad.

    My boyfriend is very germophobic and has OCD’s surrounding being clean so things like farting on me never happen. LOL I’ve actually been woken up with his efforts to move away from me so he doesn’t fart on me. I think if he had his way we’d shower before *and* after sex LOL

    But I think I have to agree with you regarding queefing being most embarrassing, especially after sex. Queefing with semen in you is just…. yuck.

  3. True Pleasures

    I’m the same way! My hands get dry and cracked from so much washing and I hold in my flatulence until I can be alone and not fart where my husband can hear or smell it. Grooming takes me at least an hour in the morning and at night.

    Yeah, queefing does give a good amount of relief. Sometimes the pressure of a penis pounding air into my vagina is killer. Queefing with semen is such a mess, especially during my period.

    *squelch!* Oops… I inked…

    Getting that out of the carpet is not fun. Any other time, I can keep it in me until I get to the bathroom. If I accidentally queef, forget about it. It’s time to go get the carpet cleaner.

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