Toy Talk: Sex Toys and Your Relationship

In the past, people were often embarrassed by their sex toys — keeping them well-hidden under the bed or high on a closet shelf.  These days — whether your sex life is vanilla or multi-flavored, couple directed or single user — you probably already own one or more sex toys.  People discuss sex toys publicly, make comparisons in friendly chat, and sometimes even display them as pieces of art and craft.  A lovely glass dildo, for example, may be as proudly on ‘show’ as a fine vase or a piece of sculpture.  Freely communicating about such intimate details can be a genuine boost to understanding and enjoying the who and what you and your sex partners enjoy and are skilled at using.

More and more people are coming to the understanding that sex toys can be effective and pleasurable accessories to their sex life, just as hot and trendy clothes, bling, and hi tech audio equipment are to their social lives.  It’s important, however, to maintain perspective and not become obsessive.  Sex toys are accessories.  They’re the frosting, not the actual cake.  While it’s possible to become emotionally attached to your sex toys, it’s far more rewarding and sexually healthy to simply use them as tools or sensual enhancements.  Most people agree that shared physical intimacy between partners is still the best sex despite any promises of just like the real thing.

Because of the variety of sexual preferences, Vibrator.com, offer a wide variety of sex toys, ranging from inanimate to fetish gear, vibrators, sensual enhancerssafe sex items, and other products designed for your pleasure.  We are concerned about continuing education about the use and mis-use of sex toys.  We particularly emphasize good communication about how to introduce sex toys in a relationship

Obviously a first date or even a quickie hook-up may not be the ideal time to haul out your heavy duty equipment.  Get to know your partner first before suddenly appearing in full dominatrix attire with spreader bars and your biggest strap-on dildo. Don’t bring out the Sybian or some other fuck machine before you’ve even talked about sexual turn-ons and turn-offs.  In other words show that you’re interested in achieving mutual and intimate pleasures.  The same is true for other sensual enhancements designed to give increased pleasure to your partner.  If you’ve just met, don’t drag your potential lover to a red velvet, candle-lit, rose petal-strewn bed immediately or they’re going to feel that you’re just another player and that you consider them “just another notch on the bedpost” instead of someone special.

Performance anxiety is still one of the biggest challenges sex partners face.  No one wants to feel they’ve failed or that a “machine” is going to replace them.  That’s why timing and circumstance are so important in introducing a sex toy into the relationship.  You should do so in a non-threatening manner and remember that sexual egos can be very fragile.  A little play acting can help, too.  If you’re in a developing relationship, you might say, for example, that one of your friends tried this or that sex toy and you wondered if it really worked as well as they said.  This is a non-threatening way to bring in, say, a cock ring, butt plug, anal beads, or hi tech vibrator.  Watching sex videos together, too, is another means to bring up the use of a particular sex toy or fetish gear.  “Wow,” you might say to your partner, “what they’re doing kind of turns me on.  What about you?”

More extreme sex toy practices, including using strap-on dildos, bondage, or light S/M, fetish clothing, and electro-stimulation, are all featured in available couple-oriented videos that are like introductory “classes” for beginners.  Watching these together with your lover or potential sex partner(s) can be helpful in breaking the ice.  Afterward, you can discuss the pros and cons, safe sex practices you’re comfortable with, and express your eagerness to “give it a try.”  Sex toys can be great accessories when they are mutually accepted, used in an exploring or fun way to enhance your and your partner’s pleasure.  Just remember, they are only part of good sexual communication.  You supply the other part.

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